Here’s the video. Watch it. Below is a discection of the one-liners that will de-esculate the confrontation started by a bully. It’s pure gold.
I like this so much I’ve written them out for you to copy and print up. Early in my influence and persuation training I would spend hours practicing language patterns so I got them down. If that will help you, or your kids, deal with bullies please DO IT!
Read the responses just as Chase worded them:
- I’m truly and very sorry for whoever hurt you.
- I’m very sorry that you got hurt but it isn’t me that makes you feel small I can promise you.
- Does it make you feel bigger or just more accepted by people when you do this?
- Whoever hurt you I promise it wasn’t me
- You know we all have a lot going on back at home and some of us I guess just take the pain to school and some don’t.
- What’s going on for you that your turn into this person. I know that you’re a lot nicer than this you’re a lot better person than this.
- No one’s going to be hurt if you’re just nice.
- Are you worried that you’re going to be hurt if you’re nice to people or kind to people?
- I can promise you all of these people will still think you’re cool if you just be yourself.
- Am I the first person of the day that you did this to?
- I can promise you people will still think you’re cool/tough if you just act normally.
- Did your parents teach you this or is there somebody who hurt you?
- I don’t know who hurt you to make you act like this but I promise that it wasn’t me.
- You really don’t seem like the kind of person to lose control of yourself that easily is something wrong?
- You don’t seem like the kind of person to hurt other people for no reason. Is there something going on?
- you really don’t seem like the kind of person to act like a kindergartener. Something has to be wrong.
- You really don’t seem like the kind of person to behave like a child. Is something going on is there something wrong?
These are what you would follow up with to further de-escalate the confrontation.
- I know that this is the part where you act like my question is awkward or pretend like it’s weird that I’m asking so that people will laugh … (but …and then fill in the blank from there).
- So I guess the next part of the script is when I say something and then you pretend like it’s really awkward and weird and I’m sure you won’t do that because you don’t you know copy what people do in the movies but (… then fill in the blank).
- Oh I guess this is the part where I ask you a question and then you deflect it and act like it’s extremely weird and then look at everyone to make sure they agree with you that’s a classic.
- When I ask you this question this is the part where you act like it’s awkward because you might be afraid to answer the other thing that you’ll do is probably laugh or make fun of the question and these things are really common to do so I’m sure you’ll pick one that makes you look good but (…then fill in the blank).
- Im sure when I ask this question you’ll pretend like it’s really weird and awkward and maybe even do the thing from the movies where you laugh or act like it’s stupid and then look around at everyone and make sure they agree with you but (… fill in the blank).
- Look, Name, there’s a lot of people here who respect you and like you and I would feel weird too if high school kids were able to make me act mean to people just to get attention and I can imagine there’s a lot of pressure on you and it’s Tuesday afternoon we’re about to have fifth period and you’re here saying XYZ..
Download the free PDF of these langauge patterns.
Here is another article about Chase Hughes: https://mindcontrolpublishing.com/i-found-out-something-interesting/